Kavya Menon.

For those of you who don’t know me at all, something that you should know before reading this is that I never tell anyone how I really feel about things, I’m the type of person who’d suppress these feelings within myself and prefer not telling people about them, so the following post is something which really sets me trembling. I never thought I’d be doing this but I really want to.

Back in fifth grade, when we as junior babies just enter the senior school, finding a seat in the bus is like the major challenge. The bus is already so full and then there’s like a whole bunch of new kids (what are we supposed to do? Sit on top of our senior’s heads?) So being the new kid, I eventually had no place to sit and no one even bothered offering a seat to me. After one whole year of struggling in the stupid bus, the seniors graduated. That’s when I met Kavya, who so kindly offered me to sit with her and her best friend. Since that very day, Kavya Menon was my best friend for life! Playing top 10, name place animal thing, rock paper scissors, eye spy and every possible game known to man was practically how we grew up. I wanted to always be like Kavya. I remember every single thing she used to do till date. I remember how she used to speak the entire textbook to me when she wasn’t even looking at it. If Kavya did something, I was her tail, copying her every single move. She used to use green pens to write headings, sometimes black. Underline that with red, write questions with black and answers with blue and I did the same. Kavya bought felt pens I did too. Thinking about these things now, I feel like such a copycat. At that point of time Kavya was my inspiration. I still remember the day I got to know I became the Ruby house captain, back in eighth grade, she was so happy for me and I was so happy to see her happy! Every year since fifth I tried for the council, didn’t get in and cried in the bus, Kavya was there to console me. She always told me don’t give up! There’s a next year. I remember how Kavya used to pack me auntie’s delicious curd rice separately because I loved it so much. She was good with everyone be it her juniors, her seniors, cats, dogs, teachers, everyone! She got along with everyone so well.

Our friendship reached the turning point when she shifted. Well obviously resulted in changing buses. I begin to see less of Kavya as she was in a different class. We saw each other in the hallways once in a while and that was it, but nothing changed, she was still my best friend. Then there was a point when we stopped talking completely. I got new friends. I wanted to share all of secrets with her but that wasn’t even minutely possible. This turning point where I lost contact with her completely hurts me till date.

Kavya became the head girl in tenth grade. Believe it or not, happiest day of my entire life. She did not attend investiture ceremony to collect her batch. On my birthday, my supervisor told me to go back home because she felt my dress was inappropriate. Kavya was so sad that day. She kept saying, how is wearing a dress a problem? How can someone do that to a birthday girl? 

My hands are shivering writing this, my vision blurry because my eyes are filled with tears. I cannot get myself to believe Kavya isn’t next to me right now. I miss going to her house to play monkey ladder, ahh those days. I loved that monkey ladder so much! I still have all the cards and gifts Kavya gave me for all of my birthdays. Her handwriting was so beautiful; she always used to write her n’s so differently. The first time I ever received a cake in school was with Kavya. She threw this cute little surprise in the bus. I never had a surprise, nor had anyone get me cake before that, felt so nice. 

I was writing my maths unit test when I heard our supervisor screaming, the next thing I know, Kavya’s being taken to the hospital for going through fits. Praying for her to get better, lighting candles for her, hoping with all might she came back to school, but no news. Then one day, the most horrifying news came. Well, I felt broken, so broken. Never felt so much pain in my life. Memories of us racing in my head. Kavya made me hear my first English song, Uncle John from Jamaica- Venga Boys. If there is someone I miss more than anything in this world, it will be her. She might not be with us right now, but she’ll always be in our hearts at least in mine. I think apart from not getting into the council this year if there was something that made me really sad, it would be losing Kavya.

I have never cried the way I cried on the day our school arranged a memorial for Kavya. Listening to people speak about her. As Usha aunty said, “Kavya was a fighter.” She definitely was. I can keep writing on and on about what Kavya meant to me and about every single time we spent together, but I did not realize I reached my second page on Ms word while writing. So I’m going to take your leave now.