Mixed Emotions: Part 1

Has anyone ever got that feeling, when you are surrounded by a thousand “friends” but you still feel so alone or is it just me? Well honestly, after a lot of betrayal and trust issues, it’s really difficult to determine the true meaning to what a friend really is. We all go through problems that seem to build walls and we put up our guards higher. So basically today’s blog is just another one of my unedited ones where I spill things I’d question all day long and regards to a lot of topics. We have to wake up now and realize that there are bigger problems than losing a best friend or breaking up with your beloved boyfriend, step outside that tiny box you’ve created for yourself and look at your life from someone else’s point of view or look at someone’s else’s life. There are so many problems out there that we tend to ignore but we can solve them. We let problems build on us and pressure us, it gives us so much of tension and stress and then we drink and smoke to make ourselves feel lighter. A lot of us want to deny that we’re not okay, a lot of us, make ourselves believe that the problem isn’t big, but as soon as its build up so much and there’s no foundation just like a building it breaks. We break down and cry so much. Bu that’s not the worst part, the worst part is we let people break us, we let our guards down for people who we think are different but NO, they just turn out to be like the rest. As far as friends are concerned, they’re not supposed to judge you, break promises, betray you, stab you in the back but when a friend does all of the above, is she or he really worth calling a friend?

So there’s this girl, she thinks she’s really strong and she’s built some pretty high walls and it took her a lot of courage to break that wall for people that she let in. She tries to stay away from trouble now because she used to cause trouble herself before. She never shares her problems with anyone nor lets out other people’s secret but one day she did, blindly trusting someone she thought she could trust and guess what happens? Her trust is obviously broken. How does that feel? How do you think you can face that person ever? I mean, can you pretend it’s all cool and nothing’s wrong at all? Well, that’s the biggest mistake anyone could ever make, not solving the problem like I mentioned above is the worst possible thing you could do. Instead, you should talk it out and end it. But what if you don’t have the courage to talk it out, because you know it’d hurt you in many ways, because you thought you could trust that someone and now you can’t, guess what you’re doing? You’re just trying to run away from the truth, you have to tell yourself that, it’s over, it’s broken. Because once you fold the paper you can never remove the crease, once the thread is broken, it’s going to be really hard to get that same thread back without a knot. 

Sometimes when everyone is out of your life and you have no one to look up to, you tend to think it’s because something is wrong with you. NO. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you at all, you’re perfect your own way even if you don’t find someone to love you now, there’s something big in store for you later. Even if the guy you love doesn’t want to see your face, it’s okay, don’t frown, there are a lot of people out there who do want to see your pretty face. Don’t ever downgrade yourself for some idiot who did not say I love you back or someone who broke your trust. It’s okay, mistakes happen and you learn from them. Go ahead and find another cute guy, maybe this one would actually like to see your face and remember it’s not about looks, though this world is all about it, but in your tiny world why keep it about looks? 

When you preach something, do it yourself. Don’t be a hypocrite. There is so much hypocrisy in this world it makes me want to puke. I mean people who preach something, don’t follow it themselves and then lie about how they do. It’s saddening to see how people do that, but don’t worry my friend, what goes around comes back around. If you did something bad to someone, don’t worry, wait for it, it’s coming back to you, just how the ball comes back in your hands after you bounce it.

ONE YEAR!

I can officially say, I’ve completed one year of blogging or might I just refer it to as ranting. I’ve always wanted to write this entire blog on how nice all of you are, who take out time to read my rants on issues that don’t even concern you MOST of the times and sometimes some that don’t even make sense and also thank you guys. But no, I am disappointing a whole bunch of you (I’m guessing…) because today’s blog is not about thanking you people (at least not the first part of it.) but about some things that have happened to me personally and some things that really make me think, is this how all you really are and that what you show others is just your makeup to hide your true self?

First being, how can someone not realize their being used for say money or popularity being the other reason, by people they call friends. There are so many kinds of people when it comes to being used, one being when they get so used to being used by other people that they stop caring. The other types are the ones who are so oblivious to the fact they’re being used, they don’t even notice it. Third are those types who are told by others that they’re being used, but no! They wouldn’t believe it and the last type? The ones who get used and use in return, it’s like benefit from each other (Don’t get me wrong here…) but seriously getting back to the point, it’s really sad that there are people out there who use others just for their own benefit and IF they tend to ask for something in return ever, it’s like who are you? Do I know you? It’s so sad that I for a matter of fact know SO many people that use others and no, they’re not talking good behind their back either. Put yourself in his/her shoes for once; see it from his point of view. There are some people out there too, who do things for others, even when they can’t, but they still do it. Imagine yourself in this position; you get to know the person you’ve done SO much for, has been stabbing you from the behind all along, how would that feel? 

So I definitely got a lot of dislike for my blog to, a lot of people hate me or dislike me, never will like me, or might have liked me but it changed over a course of time. Do people hate me? Yes many do a lot more than I can think of. You know there are these quotes or might I say words of inspiration like people call it, posted sometimes on facebook, or I go through them while reading an article or something which goes something like, "The only reason someone hates you is because they see the reflection of what they want to become, in you." Or "They hate you only because they're jealous of what you've become and what they haven't". But you know what? That's not it, how much ever envious you are about the fact she has a better quality than you do, you’ll always love yourself for who you are, no matter if you’ve achieved what they have or not!

No matter how much one wants to hate themselves for who they are, they can't. You cannot hate yourself. If the person tends to be better than you in some aspect, you're always trying to find faults in that person, trying to identify the wrong in her/him, but don't you get it? You're unique in your own way, different from the rest of the crowd there is this one quality or more that you stand out in.

I may definitely not be the best writer you know of, I obviously make mistakes, I'm not perfect and nobody is. However flawless she or he might be, everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. The point I'm trying to make is, instead of laughing at the mistakes I make, or anyone else makes, why don't you correct them? If you're laughing at them that means you know the right way of doing things or amending that certain mistake. Why make her/him the laughing stock? Why can't you just correct the person, it’s not like you don't make mistakes too?

For a matter of fact, I did have a lot of people who passed really rude comments (Like when I say rude, I mean the top of the peak kind or rude, heights!) You guys! Really stop criticizing people, passing such horrible comments and making fun of people. If you can't do it, give other people some space to do it. You know what's the funny part? You say it's a waste of time but by commenting about it, by making fun about it with other people, guess what you’re doing there? Wasting your own “precious" time. If you guys don't do it, why are you stopping others from doing what they like? If you don't like others interfering in your life, then why do you interfere in other people's lives? But apart from all of the people who did not like anything I ever posted, there were so many who did and I really appreciate it, Thank you for always correcting me. Those people who read all of my blogs and always had something to say. Everyone who always wanted me to keep writing, thanks so much, it means a lot.