Mixed Emotions: Part 1

Has anyone ever got that feeling, when you are surrounded by a thousand “friends” but you still feel so alone or is it just me? Well honestly, after a lot of betrayal and trust issues, it’s really difficult to determine the true meaning to what a friend really is. We all go through problems that seem to build walls and we put up our guards higher. So basically today’s blog is just another one of my unedited ones where I spill things I’d question all day long and regards to a lot of topics. We have to wake up now and realize that there are bigger problems than losing a best friend or breaking up with your beloved boyfriend, step outside that tiny box you’ve created for yourself and look at your life from someone else’s point of view or look at someone’s else’s life. There are so many problems out there that we tend to ignore but we can solve them. We let problems build on us and pressure us, it gives us so much of tension and stress and then we drink and smoke to make ourselves feel lighter. A lot of us want to deny that we’re not okay, a lot of us, make ourselves believe that the problem isn’t big, but as soon as its build up so much and there’s no foundation just like a building it breaks. We break down and cry so much. Bu that’s not the worst part, the worst part is we let people break us, we let our guards down for people who we think are different but NO, they just turn out to be like the rest. As far as friends are concerned, they’re not supposed to judge you, break promises, betray you, stab you in the back but when a friend does all of the above, is she or he really worth calling a friend?

So there’s this girl, she thinks she’s really strong and she’s built some pretty high walls and it took her a lot of courage to break that wall for people that she let in. She tries to stay away from trouble now because she used to cause trouble herself before. She never shares her problems with anyone nor lets out other people’s secret but one day she did, blindly trusting someone she thought she could trust and guess what happens? Her trust is obviously broken. How does that feel? How do you think you can face that person ever? I mean, can you pretend it’s all cool and nothing’s wrong at all? Well, that’s the biggest mistake anyone could ever make, not solving the problem like I mentioned above is the worst possible thing you could do. Instead, you should talk it out and end it. But what if you don’t have the courage to talk it out, because you know it’d hurt you in many ways, because you thought you could trust that someone and now you can’t, guess what you’re doing? You’re just trying to run away from the truth, you have to tell yourself that, it’s over, it’s broken. Because once you fold the paper you can never remove the crease, once the thread is broken, it’s going to be really hard to get that same thread back without a knot. 

Sometimes when everyone is out of your life and you have no one to look up to, you tend to think it’s because something is wrong with you. NO. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you at all, you’re perfect your own way even if you don’t find someone to love you now, there’s something big in store for you later. Even if the guy you love doesn’t want to see your face, it’s okay, don’t frown, there are a lot of people out there who do want to see your pretty face. Don’t ever downgrade yourself for some idiot who did not say I love you back or someone who broke your trust. It’s okay, mistakes happen and you learn from them. Go ahead and find another cute guy, maybe this one would actually like to see your face and remember it’s not about looks, though this world is all about it, but in your tiny world why keep it about looks? 

When you preach something, do it yourself. Don’t be a hypocrite. There is so much hypocrisy in this world it makes me want to puke. I mean people who preach something, don’t follow it themselves and then lie about how they do. It’s saddening to see how people do that, but don’t worry my friend, what goes around comes back around. If you did something bad to someone, don’t worry, wait for it, it’s coming back to you, just how the ball comes back in your hands after you bounce it.