Mixed Emotions: Part 1

Has anyone ever got that feeling, when you are surrounded by a thousand “friends” but you still feel so alone or is it just me? Well honestly, after a lot of betrayal and trust issues, it’s really difficult to determine the true meaning to what a friend really is. We all go through problems that seem to build walls and we put up our guards higher. So basically today’s blog is just another one of my unedited ones where I spill things I’d question all day long and regards to a lot of topics. We have to wake up now and realize that there are bigger problems than losing a best friend or breaking up with your beloved boyfriend, step outside that tiny box you’ve created for yourself and look at your life from someone else’s point of view or look at someone’s else’s life. There are so many problems out there that we tend to ignore but we can solve them. We let problems build on us and pressure us, it gives us so much of tension and stress and then we drink and smoke to make ourselves feel lighter. A lot of us want to deny that we’re not okay, a lot of us, make ourselves believe that the problem isn’t big, but as soon as its build up so much and there’s no foundation just like a building it breaks. We break down and cry so much. Bu that’s not the worst part, the worst part is we let people break us, we let our guards down for people who we think are different but NO, they just turn out to be like the rest. As far as friends are concerned, they’re not supposed to judge you, break promises, betray you, stab you in the back but when a friend does all of the above, is she or he really worth calling a friend?

So there’s this girl, she thinks she’s really strong and she’s built some pretty high walls and it took her a lot of courage to break that wall for people that she let in. She tries to stay away from trouble now because she used to cause trouble herself before. She never shares her problems with anyone nor lets out other people’s secret but one day she did, blindly trusting someone she thought she could trust and guess what happens? Her trust is obviously broken. How does that feel? How do you think you can face that person ever? I mean, can you pretend it’s all cool and nothing’s wrong at all? Well, that’s the biggest mistake anyone could ever make, not solving the problem like I mentioned above is the worst possible thing you could do. Instead, you should talk it out and end it. But what if you don’t have the courage to talk it out, because you know it’d hurt you in many ways, because you thought you could trust that someone and now you can’t, guess what you’re doing? You’re just trying to run away from the truth, you have to tell yourself that, it’s over, it’s broken. Because once you fold the paper you can never remove the crease, once the thread is broken, it’s going to be really hard to get that same thread back without a knot. 

Sometimes when everyone is out of your life and you have no one to look up to, you tend to think it’s because something is wrong with you. NO. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you at all, you’re perfect your own way even if you don’t find someone to love you now, there’s something big in store for you later. Even if the guy you love doesn’t want to see your face, it’s okay, don’t frown, there are a lot of people out there who do want to see your pretty face. Don’t ever downgrade yourself for some idiot who did not say I love you back or someone who broke your trust. It’s okay, mistakes happen and you learn from them. Go ahead and find another cute guy, maybe this one would actually like to see your face and remember it’s not about looks, though this world is all about it, but in your tiny world why keep it about looks? 

When you preach something, do it yourself. Don’t be a hypocrite. There is so much hypocrisy in this world it makes me want to puke. I mean people who preach something, don’t follow it themselves and then lie about how they do. It’s saddening to see how people do that, but don’t worry my friend, what goes around comes back around. If you did something bad to someone, don’t worry, wait for it, it’s coming back to you, just how the ball comes back in your hands after you bounce it.

ONE YEAR!

I can officially say, I’ve completed one year of blogging or might I just refer it to as ranting. I’ve always wanted to write this entire blog on how nice all of you are, who take out time to read my rants on issues that don’t even concern you MOST of the times and sometimes some that don’t even make sense and also thank you guys. But no, I am disappointing a whole bunch of you (I’m guessing…) because today’s blog is not about thanking you people (at least not the first part of it.) but about some things that have happened to me personally and some things that really make me think, is this how all you really are and that what you show others is just your makeup to hide your true self?

First being, how can someone not realize their being used for say money or popularity being the other reason, by people they call friends. There are so many kinds of people when it comes to being used, one being when they get so used to being used by other people that they stop caring. The other types are the ones who are so oblivious to the fact they’re being used, they don’t even notice it. Third are those types who are told by others that they’re being used, but no! They wouldn’t believe it and the last type? The ones who get used and use in return, it’s like benefit from each other (Don’t get me wrong here…) but seriously getting back to the point, it’s really sad that there are people out there who use others just for their own benefit and IF they tend to ask for something in return ever, it’s like who are you? Do I know you? It’s so sad that I for a matter of fact know SO many people that use others and no, they’re not talking good behind their back either. Put yourself in his/her shoes for once; see it from his point of view. There are some people out there too, who do things for others, even when they can’t, but they still do it. Imagine yourself in this position; you get to know the person you’ve done SO much for, has been stabbing you from the behind all along, how would that feel? 

So I definitely got a lot of dislike for my blog to, a lot of people hate me or dislike me, never will like me, or might have liked me but it changed over a course of time. Do people hate me? Yes many do a lot more than I can think of. You know there are these quotes or might I say words of inspiration like people call it, posted sometimes on facebook, or I go through them while reading an article or something which goes something like, "The only reason someone hates you is because they see the reflection of what they want to become, in you." Or "They hate you only because they're jealous of what you've become and what they haven't". But you know what? That's not it, how much ever envious you are about the fact she has a better quality than you do, you’ll always love yourself for who you are, no matter if you’ve achieved what they have or not!

No matter how much one wants to hate themselves for who they are, they can't. You cannot hate yourself. If the person tends to be better than you in some aspect, you're always trying to find faults in that person, trying to identify the wrong in her/him, but don't you get it? You're unique in your own way, different from the rest of the crowd there is this one quality or more that you stand out in.

I may definitely not be the best writer you know of, I obviously make mistakes, I'm not perfect and nobody is. However flawless she or he might be, everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. The point I'm trying to make is, instead of laughing at the mistakes I make, or anyone else makes, why don't you correct them? If you're laughing at them that means you know the right way of doing things or amending that certain mistake. Why make her/him the laughing stock? Why can't you just correct the person, it’s not like you don't make mistakes too?

For a matter of fact, I did have a lot of people who passed really rude comments (Like when I say rude, I mean the top of the peak kind or rude, heights!) You guys! Really stop criticizing people, passing such horrible comments and making fun of people. If you can't do it, give other people some space to do it. You know what's the funny part? You say it's a waste of time but by commenting about it, by making fun about it with other people, guess what you’re doing there? Wasting your own “precious" time. If you guys don't do it, why are you stopping others from doing what they like? If you don't like others interfering in your life, then why do you interfere in other people's lives? But apart from all of the people who did not like anything I ever posted, there were so many who did and I really appreciate it, Thank you for always correcting me. Those people who read all of my blogs and always had something to say. Everyone who always wanted me to keep writing, thanks so much, it means a lot.

Science, Commerce and Humanities.

Since it’s soon going to be a beginning of a new school year and there has been a lot of tension among the tenth graders about their electives lately, just a little something I thought I’d write and also because we were in the same situation last year.

How much ever all of us would want to deny it, we all have somewhere down the lane spoken/ thought/ heard about this awkward division made between science, commerce and humanities. Electives shape our path of education, what we’re going to become in the future and how life is going to turn out, but if you’re in a particular stream in which you don’t want to be, how will things turn out? Will you like the job you get after you pass out of college, that is if you pass out. What’s the use of taking a stream that you wouldn’t enjoy?

There are a whole lot of people out there who think that if you’re in science you’re smart, you will have the best paid job and if you’re not in science, it’s vice versa. If you’re in commerce, you don’t have to study a lot and IF you’re in humanities, you don’t have to study at all. In my opinion, this mental division is both rude and harsh. This weird discrimination between subjects that has been going for years and years has to end. My question is how can someone decide the difficulty of a subject without studying it?

Why cannot people just choose their stream according to what they feel is good for them? I understand the pressure we face from our parents sometimes, but at the end of the day, it’s up to us to forget about that pressure and opt for what we think is right for us. It’s not about science being the subject for the intelligent and commerce and humanities for the dumb, THAT’S NOT HOW IT GOES. Every stream has its own difficulty level. In simpler words, EVERY STREAM IS DIFFICULT IN ITS OWN WAY. For a commerce student, chemistry might be difficult but in the same way for a science student accounts would be difficult. 

There’s no need to be sad if you do not get the stream of your choice, its okay. The school you go to sets a mark for science and if you don’t get in, it’s only for your own good. They pick the stream which is right for you, according to your capabilities and if the school doesn’t choose your stream then it’s usually your second or third preference given to you. 

Apart from all this, our seniors to play a role in spoiling or making our choices. If you want to take science, do take science, they find it difficult THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU MIGHT FIND IT DIFFICULT TOO. It’s all about how much interest you have towards the subjects you choose. And seriously QUIT thinking that, if you don’t take science, PEOPLE are going to think that you’re not intelligent enough, then take my advice and for once forget about what the world thinks. FOR ONCE THINK THAT ITS ALL ABOUT YOU. For example, you’re eligible for science but you WANT to take commerce, but BECAUSE of your friends you want to take science, then that’s going to be your biggest mistake, mark my words. Let your friends think whatever the hell they want to! It’s your life, your decisions; don’t let them influence you in the worst possible way.

Do let me know how you like and leave your comments, thanks for reading :D

Valentine's Day.

Valentine’s day. Who hasn’t seen the hype for Valentine’s Day in the last few days? It’s been all over Facebook and to think of it, the haunting does not stop only on facebook, it’s everywhere! Valentine’s Day is just another way of couples rubbing it to their ex- boyfriend/ girlfriend that their much more happier, just another way of telling the world about how happy this girl/boy makes you and definitely just another way of telling the other girlfriend or boyfriend that she or he has behind his or her back that its war time! (No jokes on the last one). 

I’ve heard of friendship day and St. Patrick’s day, but WHAT IS CHOCOLATE DAY, HUG DAY, TEDDY BEAR DAY AND ALL THE OTHER WEIRD DAYS A WEEK BEFORE VALENTINE’S? But just to warn you it doesn’t end there. Here’s how it goes, I go on Facebook to see what’s going on with people around me, checking a few inboxes, a few photos, liking a few statuses, but oh wait, I only see statuses about ‘WHICH CHOCOLATE I AM TO YOU?’ OR ‘WHICH ROSE AM I TO YOU?’ How much ever I want to deny it, this is the reason why so many of us out there are losing faith in humanity.

The most funniest part is the way people get asked out for Valentine's. The classic is the inbox me trick. Oh you know, the one that goes like, 'Inbox me if you love me and it stays between us' (Slow accomplishment for the new height of desperate) and then there's the 'status way of doing it'. It goes something like this, tell me what you feel about me or which color am I to you and then the colors go like blue= I have a crush on you and boom next minute, so and so is in a relationship. (Knew that was coming bro.)

I see people around me who are in complete “depression” over the fact that they don’t have a valentine on Valentine’s Day. So? Thousand people are out there who don’t have a mother on Mother’s Day or a father on Father’s Day, I don’t hear them cribbing. And you’re sitting there cribbing because you don’t have a valentine? Pity you.

But all of this apart, Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovely people out there. Thanks for always reading my rants about the most weirdest things ever and do comment!

Over- Rated Love.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ― Dr. Seuss

When you search Google about what is love, you'd find endless number of searches in front of you. Everyone has a different definition to love, it varies from being the most beautiful feeling God has made us sense to the worst feeling ever. It's ironic how love makes you feel so beautiful but pathetic at the same time. Love comes in different forms, love from your family, love from your friends, love from that one person and many more. Many of you who take out the precious time out of your busy life to read my blogs have noticed that most of my blog posts have something related to “prince charming” written in it. For people nowadays, love is when you see this really attractive guy sitting right next to you and he stares at you the whole time. For some other people, love is when a guy constantly talks you, day in and day out and you're just like, he's the "one". 

It's all about the pretty woman and gorgeous boys now. It's all about winning best couple in prom now. People date for popularity.

Dear teenagers, every relationship of yours is not "TRUE" love. Yes, it is true that there is someone out there who thinks you're beautiful and you complete their life, but be patient, when its time it'd happen. It's sickening how every guy you date is your true love and you think that it would last forever but then, boom! He's flirting with your best friend for life or shall I say BFFFFL, behind your back, ouch. 

I have mentioned this before, WHAT IS WITH THE PDAs? Picture this, you guys put up so much PDA on a social networking site and you break up, how's it going to feel looking back at your picture lip locking with him/her? (Getting goose bumps thinking about it.) When you're dating someone you cannot just assume he/she is your life in a day or two days’ time. Lying to your parents for him/her is the worst part of the whole scenario.

I know of people who think its "cool" to have been with ten girls, or to have been with three girls at the same time. (What you tryin' to do boy? Turnin' your swag up another notch? Not happening.) I also know of people who date for three days and it’s officially over and you're just sitting there trying to remember how long had that relationship even lasted for it to end so fast? That's what happens when you just say yes to any Tom, Dick or Harry. Please ladies and gentlemen, calm your hormones (I don't think I can be using gentle there.) And the last type of people, the ones who think they're going to get married to this person after dating them for how long? Two months? Three?

Don't get me started on the breakup; it's like chocolate sauce on top of my chocolate brownie and vanilla ice cream (Not joking here). For the first three months she or he is devdas or Tulsi from kyunki saas bhi kabhi Bahu thi (I just hope there is a Tulsi in that serial...) and after that she or he is "I'm going to party till I drop". They call each other terms like "Playboy" and "Sluts". PLAYBOY IS A MAGAZINE AND A SLUT IS SOMEONE WHO HAS CONSTANT INVOLVEMENT IN SEXUAL ATTRIBUTES. Before using it on each other, GOOGLE IT WILL YOU? The positive part about this kind of relationships is that after the break up you learn how to lift yourself up, you become stronger, you're more cautious.

P.S: This blog does not imply to everyone dating. Not hurting anyone's sentiments here, just blogging my opinions.

Thanks for reading. :D

Damini.

December 16^th, 2012: A young girl raped and beaten up by six animals (No, I am not going to regard them as human beings, they lost that status and dignity ages back.) It was news everywhere. People from all over the world were shocked, but it did not stop there. The shock took over much more effectively when the girl died and no justice being given after over say, twelve days of suffering. Protests took place in parts of India; everyone was infuriated by the conditions of the Indian government.

Indeed, like every other citizen of India, I too am ashamed of what happened in the past few days, but what makes me laugh the most is the mixed reactions of the people. Here’s what happens, a girl got raped, it was news all over the place, at THAT point of time everyone hates the Indian government, hates India, is ashamed of being a citizen of India and so on, but as soon as India wins the match against Pakistan, “Yaay India!”, “Indian and proud” etc. What happened to the hatred towards India this time?

From my point of view, rape cases happen everywhere. There are such people who exist all over the world, who are sadists or who aren’t in the proper sense of mind. It’s all about how the country, the people and the media take it. In some places, this sort of information is censored, it’s not let out, but the government gives punishment immediately, in say about a few days. BUT in some places, the media is just waiting to pounce; it’s just waiting to get some action and Boom! Before you know it, it’s on every news channel, every website, and every news paper. 

There are some people who go completely against the idea of using social media sites to show your interest towards the issue. If you are sitting in one part of the globe and using your social media power to voice your opinions, what is the harm? Why do you have to be so pessimistic, thinking that nothing can happen sitting in one part of the globe and voicing your opinion about some issue happening in other part of the globe? If I am a citizen of the country where the issue is happening and I plan on showing my concern towards the issue, who are you to stop me? If two girls can get arrested for questioning the ‘Bal Thackeray Shutdown’, then I do have a little hope that my message to can be passed on, though it won’t make that much of a difference, at least I can hope for something to get into the minds of the pessimistic people.

To all the people out there, my only question is if these six men were educated, would they have even thought about raping the young girl? Would an educated person do such a thing? Destroying a young girl’s life that way, don’t you think they’d have that much sense in them if they were educated? Every man is born out of a woman; he definitely has a mother, a grandmother and maybe a sister. It’s all about your respect towards the woman race. It’s all about how you were brought up and definitely about how you see things. Your mentality has to be right. “Teach your son how to behave, do not stop your daughter from going out.” And what happened after this entire incident, the protests that took place, everything that the people did, did people stop raping girls? Did the wrong doings stop? No.

I think, Damini has definitely gone to a better place. It was better than staying here. If she survived the memories of the horrible incident would have killed her. She was a fighter.